The Zombie Survival Guide
As you might have noticed from all the media hype surrounding zombies/the undead/the walkers/the living dead for the past.. many years, the Zombie Apocalypse is closing in, bound to happen any second now, any second now... WHAT'S THAT KNOCK? Oh, the rent.
So to be fully prepared for the upcoming end of the world, this Zombie Survival Guide will give you all the information you need to keep you alive as long as possible so you can fight off zombies for as long as possible until your inevitable death at their hands!
This meticulously written book with a solution for any problem might amuse you, but the Zombie Apocalypse is no laughing matter! They will be stalking you, making dibs on your brain and you have to be fully prepared. Thus you will need to organize, gather enough weapons, look for the best remote locations you can be safe in once your house is no longer safe or where to get food from.
All the practical aspects of living after the world has ended are covered in this book, so be sure to give it as a gift to a more paranoid friend, a zombie fan (to make him rethink his interests), to any friend interested in post-apocalyptic matters.
1. Organize before they rise!
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don?t need reloading.
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.
10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.